According to the massive super data base that is wikipedia, I am afflicted with the following; Inferiority complex

"An inferiority complex, in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme schizotypal behavior, or both. Unlike a normal feeling of inferiority, which can act as an incentive for achievement, an inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement, often resulting in a retreat from difficulties."

As well as chronic bitching disorder.

You see, Im an ambitious little person, perhaps too much so for my own good. Ive frequently dreamed of fitting into the social circles of and such, as they seem to be very popular in the groups I try to associate with. (Zalzas was just the exampled due to me never having used the icon feature before -___-}

Anyways, In past few days, ive been hit with a disturbing slab of reality brought onto me due to a combination of complaining and the advice of a good friend. In retrospect, Ive found my aspirations to be shallow at best.

You might be asking what exactly caused me to come to this great realization. And if not, then go somewhere. The catalyst for all this emotional trouble ive come into was paranoia about my DA being not too great. (and the aforementioned inferiority complex). The naggier of my correspondents would probably give the simple answer for me to improve upon it and actually add onto it now and then (which ive failed to do .__. ).However, it is not that simple. As said before, I am ambitious, and having a few watchers (although I am grateful for them) is not big enough for me. I am hindered primarily in my quest for power by the fact that my taste in what I write is so different from that of the people I hope to impress.

In short, im upset, afraid (of embarrassment), and all round bitching....

Why does life do this to me ._____. ?